Shielded in the Light and in the Dark
by It'sTimeForYouToBeEqualized
Summary: A one-shot detailing Tony's train of thought concerning Cap's shield post the Siberia fight. CACW Spoilers!


**Author's note: Check me out on Instagram! _scarletwitch**

* * *

Tony kept the shield. Got a glass case and stored it. He covered it with a cloth, a dark maroon one whenever he wasn't looking at it.

His few guests had not asked about the box, but had each reacted in slightly different ways.

Ross had glanced at it, his eyes asking the silent question of what was contained inside.

Rhodey didn't seem to care, as his legs were more important than Tony's new decor.

Vision had simply phased through it, his android eyes heavy. He was more concerned about whether or not Tony had located the escaped prisoners, which Tony hadn't. He'd been too busy devoting his time to staring at the shield.

And remembering. Remembering the horrible battle in Siberia.

After the Winter Soldier and Steve left, Tony laid there. The suit heavy, FRIDAY no longer able to make it light as a feather, not without the arc reactor.

Steve destroyed that. The shield, his father's shield, the patriotic colors glistening in the Siberian light, as it came down upon him, first breaking his face plate, then the arc reactor in his chest.

Steve had a kill shot, and they both knew that.

Captain America, the Star Spangled Man With a Plan, could have killed him.

To think, only minutes before, Tony had the upper hand, FRIDAY guiding him, guessing the Captain's next moves.

But the tide had turned in favor of America's hero. And that blasted Winter Soldier had distracted Tony.

Upsetting Tony's balance hadn't been all the Soldier had done. The minute Tony looked at his face, all he could think of was his mother.

His poor mother. Maria Stark. She had watched Howard die, and waited for her own death, as the Winter Soldier, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, choked her.

Tony hoped it had been quick for her. Barnes had used his nonmetal arm, and all Tony could do was hope that it hadn't lasted long.

That the pain Maria felt had been brief.

His lovely, gentle, beautiful mother. Ripped away from her, in the most horrible way Tony could think of.

Murder.

He was going to die here.

The shield, Steve's shield, a symbol of hope and freedom, came down upon the suit.

You could say it was justice, justice raining down upon Tony for all of his crimes.

New York.

Sokovia.

Every life the world had lost, including those taken by Ultron.

Even Lagos.

It was at his urging that Rhodey stay behind. Tony had claimed that the War Machine suit was "too noticeable for an undercover job", and that Rhodey should come hang out with him instead.

It was selfishness. Tony was lonely and bored without Pepper, so he was desperate for any company.

If he was really going to self reflect, he'd have to admit he was jealous.

Not of Rhodey, but of the Captain. Steve.

Steve, sure, had slept for 70 years, but he could get right back into it. Heck, only a month after waking up, the super soldier had requested to be put back in the field.

Sure, Fury had refused, but that didn't stop the Captain.

He snuck onto 40 missions before Fury officially reinstated him.

And that was just a piece of paper. Captain America had been reinstated, someone who inspired and protected the world, since the minute he had woken up.

Tony had never had that luxury.

His weapons were abused by terrorists.

His trust was broken by every person he had met, except for Pepper, Rhodey, and Steve.

Well, now, formerly Steve.

Tony reflected on all of this as he stared at the shield, grasping a cup of beer.

He was falling back into alcoholism now, and for a few weeks, Vision had attempted to stop him, removing the alcohol Tony seemed to be always drinking.

It had worked for maybe a day, but not any longer.

Now, even Vision, his robot-son, had abandoned the endeavor, deeming it worthless.

No one blamed him, not even Tony himself.

From the sheer amount of time Tony had spent staring at the shield, he had practically memorized every inch of it. He had been tempted to fix the shield, and clean it. However, something stopped him.

Maybe it was that he liked the way the shield was still desecrated with scratched made by T'Challa's claws.

Vibranium on vibranium.

His claws were duller now, probably. The shield had suffered, so it only made sense that the claws had too.

A tragic metaphor, Tony reflected. He had fought Steve, and neither one had escaped unharmed.

Tony's hand brushed the glass case, leaving behind his fingerprints. He could not undo what he had done.

But it was his responsibility, as an Avenger, to help save the world.

Whatever that took, Tony would be there, every step of the way.

"Friday, open a new file. Label it….. Saving the World, Phase II." Tony requested, his mind already buzzing with ideas.

* * *

Tony didn't look at the shield for three months. He had meaning in his life now.

Slowly, but surely, Tony Stark was going to change the world.

If he had glanced underneath that maroon cloth, if he had looked into that glass case, he would have found it incredibly empty, albeit one item: A blue sticky note with a simple message.

 _I'm proud of you, Tony. Save the world in the light, and I'll save it from the shadows._

 _-Steve_


End file.
